Dear A, or My Son the Mastermind

Dear AB,

So here is what happened after you left. I went to take my 10:30 nap and I had a phone message from Jeff's piano teacher. I turned the phone off, and made a to-do list. Then, the first thing on the list was listen to our piano teacher's message. (We are friends and he calls often). But he sounded worried so I called him back. He said, "I saw Jeffrey this morning" and I thought 'That's nice!" and he said AT MY HOUSE! Evidently, Mr. Jeff had space out on the bus and gotten off 20 stops later. He went to the piano teacher's house (in Williamsburg) and calmly explained that he had spaced out on the bus & "gotten lost.' So, Jay gave him a ride back to school.

Jeffrey knows the story well of his father getting lost on the way it school in third grade due to reading a Sherlock Holmes book. Jeffrey also wants a cell phone, Jeffrey is also 1/2 Bartlett. So, his mother, who is also largely Bartlett was able to put two and two together & they don't add up to Jeffrey spacing out on the bus.

I realized that I may have been tricked! So, I went down to school. I ran into (luckily) Ms. S. the principal who has know Jeff since he was 4. I told her the story, my worries of the Actual story, and she said, o yeah, that's right. Well, here comes Jeffrey to his mother and Ms S in the hall trying to look as befuddled as humanly possible. Ms. S. asked him what happened this morning, He said that nothing happened. And she said, 'What time did you get to school Jeffrey?" He had the nerve to say, "I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A CELL PHONE." Caught! Child! Well, she goes into you worried us and I'm ashamed of you. And you can't get lost, I'm going to rip up your bus pass, kids get kidnapped all that. In the kindest voice barely above of whisper. And I'm just giggling like a cat because I'm so overwhelmed and nervous. But, then, guess who walks by? JEFF'S TEACHER AND ALL HIS CLASSMATES! And they are all staring at him like "O Boy." Well, needless, to say, this is all being quickly resolved.

Then, I went to the Greater Warsaw Post Office. As I left, there was a recycling truck throwing tubs of mail into the truck. I said, isn't that illegal? They go "not really."