February 15, 2011 (28 Degrees)

Because I needed you to tell me that the older lady with the cane was hot, and you said, "I think she is beautiful."

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Today will be the very first day that my eight year old son walks to school by himself.

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Eliot must be part of our picture. He was worried about social forms, about being in good form. About what belonged.  As he worried too about who and what belonged to the right thing, in literature, in the true establishment. About what to include.

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I wonder how much of this translates into Eliot's perception of the world; the world away from poetry. Is form the mirror which we see our existence through? I was going to say that that would mean my work is chaotic; but that simply isn't true. While I work outside of traditional or experimental 'form,' my poems at utterly controlled. I would say that they are the only thing in my life that doesn't reflect chaos - rather they are a coming to terms and an examination of the chaos. However, to say that they are controlled by me is also a little bit of a misnomer. As Duncan attests - writing for me is derived. So that, Eliot might be anti-hero for me.

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I think the disabled body is beautiful. This comment makes people with disabilities mad at me. This also makes people without disabilities mad at me.

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It makes me upset when I ask people if Larry Eigner had lovers and people act like that is impossible or gross. People with spinal injuries are on television because the look like able-bodied people using a wheelchair, therefore they are non-threatening. To my knowledge, only three people with cerebral palsy have ever been on any form of television: Gerry Jewel, the comedian on HBO, and that super cute teenager on Breaking Bad.

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I can't help but push tender buttons.

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Can someone reading this send me a copy of Spring and All.

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The writers in my dreams last night include: Maryrose Larkin, Jim Stewart, Robert Duncan, Lisa Jarnot, Ron Silliman, James Yeary, Norma Cole, and Paul Auster.

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The Wasteland, anyway, is part of our story.