Now, that I'm concious, mostly and AWP

Now, that I'm concious, mostly, I'm going to go back to the previous posts and fix some errors and add here and there.

The jury is still out of what we think of the AWP. As I noted before, paying for poetry and paying to go buy books, just strikes me as odd. I found out, boy am I stupid, that a concrete reason for AWP is that academics can give papers to add to their resumes for tenure. On the one hand, this is a clever idea. On the other hand, it sounds bizarrely contrived.

I'm going out on a limb here. I think I'm one of the few academics (and I use that term lightly) with little to no interest in tenure. I would kick a tenure job out of bed, and I just might have one one day, but it isn't my goal. I am not bashing people AT ALL who want tenure. It stikes one as a necessary evil. People have asked me why I want to teach so bad if tenure is not my goal. The short answer is teaching is fun. I love writing. I love young people. And I love being on campus.

I spent my entire life aware of tenure in one way or another. My father was a professor for years and my ex-boyfriend was once turned down for tenure and is on his second go around. My attitude toward tenure is that I am trying to "make it" in so many areas of life: motherhood, work, and poetry -- all with a disability. I don't need one more competition. My goal is to write good poems, have people read them, and have the least anxiety possible. In the short term, my goal is to decide what I want my students to focus on in their Joycean paper and to find my kid some socks that match.

Back to the AWP. On the other hand, the AWP and surrounding events was kind of like Caligulia for me. All I do is think about poets, poetry, poetry gossip, poetry ideas, etc. I pretty much do this in a vacuum. I do know plenty of poets in New York, but everyone is always so busy. I never go to reading because I'm too tired. The AWP gave me an opportunity to be around people 24/7 for a few days. It let me neglect my real life. That was good.

More AWP Report

I lag behind, sometimes the world is so dangerous.

Last night I went to Reb Livingston's fabulous poetry pageant. I love Shanna Compton, Bruce Covey, Reb Livingston, and Jill Essenbaum so much. They are endlessly talented, but they have no pretense about them. This 'group' of people moves in a world that is so exclusionary, yet they are so down to earth. I told Jim that the pageant was probably the first reading I'd been to where I was actually entertained.

Then, today, the boys and I went to the AWP book fair. On the last day, it was a complete madhouse. Everyone at the tables had candy out and Jeff kept running up and grabbing stuff. Then, he went into sugar-super high. I ran into Jeff from La Petit Zine, sans baby, Jill Essenbaum, Katy and Matt Hendrickson. and the fabulous Amy King. After the guys left, I went to a reading for Bowery Women Poets with Anne Waldman and Brenda Coultas. At this point, no one was checking badges and it had turned into an AWP free for all. The book sellers were thrusting books at people. And, true to New York form, a voice came over the loud speaker saying "HEY BOOK SELLERS YOU'D BETTER HAVE YOUR BOOKS PACKED AND READY TO GO AT 5:30." The only things I bought were Brenda's book and Kate Greenstreet's chapbook. There was a lot that I wanted, and I had cash to spend, but I just found the whole thing so overwhelming. I couldn't make a decision.

Motherhood, AWP, and all

I did 'get' into the AWP yesterday. More on the details of that later. The panel I saw was on disability with Paul Guest and a few others. I can't stress how wonderful it was to be in a room with people with like-minded idea. They take disability culture -- and mainstream's rejection of it -- very seriously.

Last night we went to Matt Hendrickson's "Steal This Book." All of the readers were wonderful.

As I type, I am half-awake, and heading out to teach. I was all set to slow down this morning and take Jeff to school late purposefully, just to buy time. Then, I open his notebook and there's this big ole note saying JEFF HAS BEEN LATE TWICE THIS WEEK...BLAH BLAH BLAH. Okay, panic attack. I called Dina and she was able to swoop by and fetch him. He goes to school screaming, "I don't want to leave TV" with one sock that is dirty and no mittens. The teachers -- Dina agrees -- have no idea what it's like to be a mother. The only kids with their hair combed have mothers who put all their energy into that. We constantly limp along. There is no cat food, the house is a mess, off to the university!

AWP = Experimental Poetry?

In Jacket 12, in an article called "The Story of Fence," Rebecca Wolff writes about turning away from the workshop style of writing (she has an MFA from Iowa) toward an more open, experimental form of writing. Wolff writes of feeling of the publication of her early poems a "confused pleasure of seeing my poem printed in an obscure, unattractive journal alongside a brand of poem that I had come to realize was the dominant paradigm of the day: the mediocre narrative lyric." She saw the current market of poetry journals as "on the one hand you had the thoroughly unremarkable brand of poetry as seen in the scores of undistinguished journals limping their way out of universities around the country (Southwest Review, Missouri Review, etc.)"

In forming Fence Wolff claimed, "I’m starting a magazine for idiosyncratic writing, poetry and fiction that is not easily categorizable in terms of camps of schools of thought and which therefore is unappealing to the current market place."

For me, Fence, which has published many fine poets and some great ones, could be catagorized as an "experimental" magazine, one which tried the exceed the boundaries of a workshop poem. Although Wolff can come off as hugely too self-confident at times, she does have very good taste.

One wonders though, what Wolff's and many other's intentions are as the AWP falls upon us. Fence is one of the major players in the AWP. Wait, a minute. Doesn't Fence go against the grain of the workshop system? Has Fence given in? Can you reject the system and then vie to be part of it? Or, perhaps, I have it all wrong. Perhaps Wolff intends to change the system from within.

These questions are old, of course. Ten years ago, two famous poets sat in a restaurant and had the very same discussion. Friendships have nearly been lost because of it. But, what interests me is that the SAME thing is happening now.

The AWP is a great thing on the one hand. Lots of my friends are coming to town and there are many great off site readings. Many poets with a lot of integrity are ambivalent about AWP or dismissive of it all together.

Can you reject the system and be part of it? I don't see Ron Silliman packing his bags for New York.

AWP

I'm looking for places to read at the AWP. It's hard to connect with people, now that I'm list-free. If anyone has an idea, ring me up! saintlizstreet@hotmail.com Thanks!